


Hesitation

by Eloarei



Series: OP rewatch short fics [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 12:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloarei/pseuds/Eloarei
Summary: She was so strong-willed, and he never quite knew what to do with her. He knew what hewantedto do with her, but it never seemed the right time to ask-- and then she came back from war with two babies in her arms.





	Hesitation

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little bit surprised this wasn't a ship tag yet, but hey, there's a first time for everything.  
> Also, boy this got longer than I expected. 
> 
> Anyway, slowly but surely I'm still working on these One Piece oneshots, featuring less popular characters. I always knew this was one I had to do, so I'm glad I did, even if the statistics imply that nobody will read it. haha

She was always a strong-willed girl. She didn’t take it hard when her parents died, at least not like most young women would have, Genzo thought. Instead Bellemere simply ran off to join the marines. Maybe that was her way of dealing with her grief, giving herself something to do with her time, something to devote herself to.    
  
On one hand, he thought it suited her and he was glad she’d found something she wanted to focus all that fiery energy into instead of making trouble around the town like she’d down all her teenage years. On the other hand, it felt like a rejection.    
  
He had never exactly proposed to her; after all, they weren’t dating; they weren’t lovers. He’d never even quite confessed how he felt. But from the moment she’d first been brought into the the little office that served as Cocoyashi’s police station and Genzo had seen the way she argued with the other assistant deputy, like there was no way she was going to lose, he couldn’t quite keep his eyes off her. He’d handled the belligerent young woman professionally, like he always would, but there seemed to be a mutual fondness that crept up between them in the following years; at least, Bellemere made sure that she was only caught making trouble when Genzo was available to deal with her.    
  
He hardly knew what he was saying when he said it, but he remembered once suggesting that she settle down.    
  
“You’re hot-headed,” he told her, as he walked her home one night after she’d been dragged to him by an exasperated junior officer. “And probably too clever for your own good. But you’d make a good wife if you let yourself focus on something positive for once.”    
  
She’d scoffed at him, though the look she’d given him over her shoulder was playful, and more than a little challenging. “There’s not a man in East Blue that wouldn’t get worn out in a month, dealing with me.” It seemed almost like a badge of pride, but he wondered if she was expecting him to argue. “Besides, I don’t need to be corralled.”    
  
He knew he should have kissed her then, or  _ tried _ , at least; she might have punched him, after all. They both knew he fit that bill. He’d been dealing with her for over a year now, almost daily, and far from getting worn out, it was easily his favorite part of his job. He looked forward to hearing that Bellemere was in town, aggressively haggling with shopkeepers or picking fights with anyone who looked at her funny, smoking in peoples’ faces when they were rude, and being an overall hooligan. He enjoyed taking her by the arm and hauling her away from the scene while she laughed, lecturing her about how citizens were supposed to behave-- until they were halfway to her house and she would distract him with a joke or a story about her day.    
  
It was obvious by then that he would never corral her. He knew it; she knew it; everyone else in town knew it.    
  
Still, he didn’t push, even though he should have pinned her against the fence of her parents’ walkway and kissed her, and let her punch him before she ran away laughing. Instead he just repeated his same old plea for her to stay out of trouble, ‘I don’t wanna see you at the station tomorrow unless you’re coming to turn in a lost teddybear’, and bid her sleep well. Then he went home, thinking his bachelor pad could use a splash of color and some noise.    
  
It went like that for a while, and he never told Bellemere how perfect he thought he’d be for her-- or how much he’d try. They just continued their predictable routine, and he never could find a way to stray from it, even though sometimes it felt that she was trying to give him an opening.    
  
When her parents died and she told him she was joining the marines, Genzo was shocked. That was quite some way of taking his advice; not the way he’d meant it at all, but when did Bellemere ever play by his rules? He came closer than ever to speaking his true mind then, reaching out in a haphazard, unplanned sort of way.    
  
“You don’t  _ have _ to join the marines,” he’d said, dismayed at how much it sounded like he was begging. “I know your parents didn’t leave you anything, but you’re not alone. You’ve got me, at least. I make plenty as the sheriff.”    
  
She’d shook her head at him, at his poor attempt to get her stay without really bearing his heart in unmistakable terms. “It’s fine, really,” she said. She smiled in a way that was sadder and much more adult than he’d seen on most people, let alone someone like her. “I think it’s time for me to really apply myself to something, like you’re always telling me.”    
  
She didn’t avoid him after that, luckily, and he was the last person she spoke to before she was deployed for training, but she would hear none of his weak protests. She seemed more determined, the more he suggested she stay. And when the day came, she got on the ship and left.    
  
It wasn’t all that long before she returned; she was on a cyclical schedule, deploying for several months and returning for a month of rest. The first time, the first thing she did upon landing was use her earnings to buy a tiny little house on the outskirts of the town, a move that was surprisingly responsible, in Genzo’s opinion. When she finally came to visit him after getting her new place set up, he could see that she had grown up considerably. Young, still, and full of that energy she always had, but the time she’d spent with the marines had hammered out the grief of losing her family into something steely strong. The mischievous glint was still there, but it was tempered.    
  
He was impressed, and he wanted so badly to be allowed to love her. But if there was ever a time to express that to her, it was not then, not when she was finally settling into something that seemed to suit her surprisingly well.    
  
A few years passed, Bellemere being absent for months, then returning just long enough for their friendship to kindle into what could have been more, before she was off again and their feelings were set to simmer and cool. Genzo came close to asking her several times, each time very  _ nearly _ expressing that he actually wanted to be with her, instead of falling back on how convenient it could be. ‘We could build on to the house,’ he might say, implying how nice it would be to have both their incomes to use. ‘I’m sure the place gets dusty while you’re away,’ he’d suggest, as if she cared what it was like when it was empty.    
  
‘Wouldn’t it be nicer to have someone to come home to?’ he might ask, but it was a bit of a moot point, since she usually came to see him the day after she got home anyway, and he knew she wasn’t so lonely that she couldn’t stand a night by herself.    
  
She came close to agreeing just after Genzo came into a small inheritance. It was exactly the sort of money one might use to start a family, and he was excited as he thought about what to do with it.    
  
“It’s more than enough to build on to your place,” he told her, walking along together under the setting sun. “Or if you think a new place would be better, I think it’d be enough for that too.”    
  
A far-off look came over her as she imagined it. “Oh I wouldn’t want to abandon my place,” she said, smiling. “I’ve just got all my tangerine trees set up. But a second story would be nice, maybe with a big window that looks out over the orchard.”    
  
It wasn’t a yes, because he hadn’t asked her a question, but they drifted a little closer together as they walked, cheerfully imagining the house they could live in together, a life where Bellemere came home and found someone waiting there for her.    
  
She deployed again, not long after that, and there seemed to be a silent understanding between the two of them that they might finally start to plan a future once she returned. And they might have, despite Genzo’s continued silence about his feelings, if she hadn’t come home bearing two orphan daughters the next time.    
  
The stormy night that Bellemere appeared, with the toddler and baby both cradled to her chest, Genzo was careful to hold back. She had only a moment to give him the barest explanation and an apologizing look before all her attention was focused on making sure the girls were taken care of. She wouldn’t hear his pleas to get medical care herself, though at very least she did let him set her down and wrap her in a blanket, once she was sure the little ones were in good hands. Her eyes stared off towards the clinic, and though he wished she’d look at him he knew it wasn’t his place to demand her attention just then.    
  
But the feeling never seemed to lift. There never came a time when he felt it would have been right to take her precious time, after she decided to raise the orphan girls for her own. For all that she’d been a troublemaker, and never really stopped displaying those mischievous tendencies of hers, Bellemere was a good mother. She quit the marines and devoted herself wholly to raising Nojiko and Nami, and if Genzo had thought military service had suited her, motherhood suited her even better. Bitterly, he realized it was exactly as he’d always thought, just that she’d skipped the part where they got married first, and now that she was so settled into this new role, what point would there have been (in his estimation of her opinion, at least) in marriage? If he’d confessed his feelings to her, it would just distract her from the new job she clearly thought was vastly important.    
  
(And he agreed, as did everyone else in the town. As much as they were a bit worried at first, the villagers came to love Bellemere’s girls and were nothing if not supportive of her efforts to raise them. This was just as true for Genzo, no matter how much he wished things had gone differently between them.)   
  
They never did resume their conversation about expanding the house, even though it would have benefitted Bellemere more then than ever. Often enough, Genzo did let slip a hopeful suggestion, sometimes in the form of a rebuke, but without saying it outright (and given Bellemere’s stubbornness), it never came to anything.    
  
“Have you thought about settling down?” he’d ask. “The girls could use a father, don’t you think?”    
  
She would scoff and give him that challenging look. “They’ve got the whole village looking after them already. I don’t know that one more man would make a huge difference.”    
  
He could have argued that; he wanted to. He wanted to tell her that  _ he _ would make a difference, for all three of them. But Bellemere was too busy to deal with courtship-- if she even wanted it, after all this time. He wasn’t so sure. If she was interested in such a thing, wouldn’t she have said so, at some point? So he left it to general suggestions.    
  
“Do you have enough?” he would ask another time, noticing that she looked a little thin, that her grocery basket was a little light for three people.    
  
To that she would answer defensively, though with that same smile. “I’ve got it handled! I don’t plan on relying on handouts. Besides, the tangerines are growing well this year. I won’t go hungry.”    
  
Genzo would grimace, knowing he couldn’t make any sort of offers after a statement like that, that she would have found it unspeakably insulting. It hurt him to watch her struggle like that though, so he asked her to invite him to dinner, and was sure to bring double what he ate as his gift. He could more than afford it; he just wished she’d let him be more open about it.    
  
It took far too long to settle into his brain, that the only way she would openly accept his help was if he openly offered what it really was he wanted to give them. If it had been easy he'd have done it ages ago, but Bellemere was never easy despite her sometimes dangerously flirtatious nature. And wasn't that what he loved about her?  
  
She'd had the girls nearing on ten years by the time he found the words to speak his mind to her. He caught her as the three were walking back home from an afternoon in town. “Bellemere,” he started, setting a hand on her shoulder. “Have a few minutes to talk?” He glanced meaningfully at the girls, who were already up ahead a ways, skipping and dashing about like children did.   
  
“Sure,” Bellemere said, turning to her daughters and calling, “You two go ahead; I’ll be there in a few minutes. And start a pot of water boiling too, would you?”    
  
“Okay,” the girls yelled in sing-song before they ran ahead, racing each other as they juggled baskets of what Genzo hoped were not eggs.    
  
Bellemere watched until the girls were out of sight down the road, sighing happily, then turned to Genzo. “What’s up, Gen? The little heathens didn’t break something again, did they?” (Despite the gravity of the accusation, she didn’t seem bothered by the idea.)    
  
“No, it’s nothing about the girls; don’t worry,” he told her, shaking his head. “Not really, at least.” He took a breath, then turned away from her and began to walk slowly towards her house, his arms folded behind his back. “I’ve been thinking. I can tell you’re happy with how things are. I’m glad. It makes me happy too. And I’d be willing to stay this way forever, but I think it could be better, for all of us. It’s something I’ve always wanted.”    
  
The look on Bellemere’s face was a little apprehensive as she asked, “Then why’d you wait this long? You could’ve started a family any time. I’m sure there’s at least one woman in town who can stand you.”    
  
He sighed; he was hoping she’d make this easy on him, but at least he hadn’t expected her to. “I don’t want any of the women in town. I don’t want to start a family with just anyone.”    
  
“Picky, aren’t you,” Bellemere said with a laugh as Genzo’s meaning started to sink through her thick skin. Still she wouldn’t accept until he really offered.    
  
“Of course I am.” He took her hand; it was a gesture he’d done before (or maybe she had), but it was uncommon enough between them to still mean something. “I want to be with  _ you, _ Bellemere. I want us to get married, and I want to help raise Nami and Nojiko, and I want to support you.”    
  
Warring expression of hope and fright and relief muddled together on Bellemere’s face. “You already do a lot of that,” she said, and it was a little faint, a little soft and strange coming out of her mouth.    
  
Eyebrows drawing down, Genzo closed another few inches between them. “I want to love you,” he told her. “I want to  _ kiss _ you.”    
  
As if it was the magic word, the worry in Bellemere’s face broke, flooded by relief. She nodded. “You can do that.”    
  
So he did.    
  
Dinner that night was not significantly unlike the others he’d been invited to, but a shadow had definitely lifted from over Genzo, and possibly from over Bellemere, allowing the starlight to shine down on them properly, like it ought to have years before. The girls might have noticed that the adults were acting weird, a little less playfully antagonistic with each other than usual, but they said nothing. They’d have used their distraction as an excuse to goof around, but Bellemere still kept a watchful eye on them, even when she and Genzo were talking and silently discussing the future between the lines; no conversation could distract her from her children.    
  
There was still their everyday life to live, so they didn’t get to planning a wedding immediately. They weren’t sure they were even going to have a wedding. More likely they’d just go to the mayor and have him officiate whatever ceremony was necessary. Genzo thought he might have liked to go the traditional route (they deserved to make a bit of a spectacle, didn't they? After all this time?), but Bellemere was undecided. As much of a public nuisance as she had been as a kid, she didn’t seem to like being the center of attention-- or at least, not in something like a wedding, where people would be expecting propriety.    
  
“But maybe Nami and Nojiko would like there to be a party?” she said to Genzo, as he helped her pick some tangerines to take into town. “I know they don’t get to do a lot of fun things, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a chance to dress up.”    
  
Genzo loved that about Bellemere, that she let such a personal decision hinge on what would make her girls happiest. He couldn’t be happier that she had found such a focus.    
  
Of course they could have simply asked the girls what they thought (and Genzo knew they’d be thrilled about a party, and all the food and presents it would entail), but they had decided not to tell them just yet. Bellemere wasn’t having cold feet, but she was still a little bit cagey about the whole thing. She worried how people would react. The people in town would likely only tease, as they had done for ages, but she was concerned that Nami and Nojiko might not like the idea of such a change.    
  
“What if they…? I don’t want them to think I’m going to abandon them.” Bellemere sighed and made a grumpy, displeased noise. “They know I love them, and  _ I _ know I have enough for the three of you. But… things have been hard sometimes, over the years, and I don’t want to give them any more reasons to worry that I’m going to leave them behind for something easier.”    
  
Unfortunately, Genzo understood that completely. Even from mostly on the outside, he had seen that the two girls had grown up always sort of waiting for something to go wrong, ever since they became aware that they weren’t Bellemere’s “real children”. (Still he wanted to throw whoever told them that into jail for a good few weeks, and maybe forget to feed them. Every idiot in town knew Bellemere loved her daughters more than life itself.) It was like they expected to be replaced, or for her to change her mind about adopting them-- as if such a thing were possible. But they were still so young, he couldn’t expect them to understand the depths of their mother’s love. They hadn’t seen her when she came home with them.    
  
“Maybe they’ll just be happy to be getting a father,” Genzo suggested. He already knew he had nothing on their mother-daughter relationship, that he would never come close no matter what, but it had to count for something, didn’t it?    
  
“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you every day,” Bellemere said with a laugh. It was at least half sarcastic, given that Nami would probably be vaguely horrified to have another rule-enforcer in the house, but it was also very sweetly sincere: Bellemere knew that the girls loved Genzo, like they’d understood from the get-go that he should have been their father.    
  
They decided to have a nice dinner and break the news to them, later that week. Some traders were set to come in with some fish they all liked from a few islands over, and they figured that if the girls took the announcement badly, at least they could be bribed with a good meal.    
  
That evening together never came. Instead, pirates appeared.    
  
The town was in chaos, and it was all he could do to keep people calm as the frightening fishmen strolled through town, demanding each citizen pay a fee to be allowed to continue to live there, and cutting down anyone who refused or got in their way. Only a few tried to fight before Genzo threw himself in front of them and pleaded for them to stay their hands. Humiliating, infuriating, whatever this was; it wasn't worth throwing their lives away. But he was someone that people looked up to; the rules applied differently to him and so he didn’t hesitate to put himself in the line of fire if it might save others.    
  
When the fishmen’s sabers bore down on him, he tried not to flinch away; he tried not to think about the future with Bellemere he’d never have now, because it was his duty to protect people and he didn’t think he could face her after this if he hadn’t done his best. A courageous woman like that, he was lucky she accepted as much cowardice from him as she did. So when facing his death, he tried to face it with aplomb.    
  
He hadn’t thought that he might not die, but whether the invaders were too distracted to do him in properly or Genzo’s will to live was stronger than he realized, he survived. He opened his eyes the next day, the ceiling fan of the clinic whirring above him. It took a few minutes to remember what had happened, and another few minutes to recover from the pain when he tried to jump out of bed and found himself collapsed on the floor again, wounds all over his chest and face cracking open with the harsh motion. Was everybody alright?! Bellemere! Where was she?! The fishmen had been heading down the road to her house and she hadn’t-- she wouldn’t--    
  
Even if she had the money to pay their outrageous fee, there was no knowing that Bellemere wouldn’t just attack them instead. Retired or not, she still had a Marine’s spirit and a pirate stood no chance at seeing her mercy. What if she was hurt? What if  _ Nami  _ was hurt? Or Nojiko?    
  
He called out, knowing someone had to be nearby, even if everyone was recovering from the disaster. When the doctor rushed in, fear flooded Genzo at the look of pity on his face.    
  
It was a hard day, and it didn’t get much easier as the years wore on and they all had to pretend that everything was fine, that Bellemere hadn’t been shot down by those monsters, that her daughter hadn’t been kidnapped and coerced into joining them.    
  
“I’m so sorry,” he said as he sat at Bellemere’s cliffside grave. “I should’ve done more.”    
  
What he really thought was ‘I should have been faster’, wishing he’d spent less time waiting, deliberating. If he’d married her  _ any _ of the times he’d wanted to, maybe he would have been there to defend them all.    
  
He wished he could hear her voice one more time, even just agreeing that he’d failed.    
  
He muddled on, of course. They all did. What else could they do, especially with Nami still in the clutches of those fiendish pirates, putting on that brave face of hers. She smiled and acted like their abuses were nothing, so they muddled on.    
  
And then-- and then, in the end, somehow it turned out alright. Nothing would bring Bellemere back, or erase Genzo’s grief and regret, but they found out how to move on. Nami made some good friends, and in doing so saved them all, and when finally the pirates were put down and Nami’s smile was  _ real _ again, Genzo sighed a heavy breath of relief, one he felt he’d been holding maybe almost all his life.    
  
“First you, then your daughters,” Genzo muttered, shaking his head at Bellemere’s grave. “The lot of you have really kept me on my toes.”    
  
It wasn’t a complaint, and in fact he knew he would have loved for them to keep him stressed for the rest of his life. But it  _ was _ a relief to see things settled now, even if it wasn’t how he would have had it, were things up to him. Sometimes he still imagined the various lives he might have had with Bellemere, if he’d gotten his act together when she was young, or before she went to war, or when she returned. So many different ways it could have gone right.    
  
But he didn’t regret her. The time he spent with her, however much he’d been biting his tongue against his feelings, it meant the world to him. That she trusted him with her beloved daughters was something he wouldn’t take for granted either.    
  
“I know I wasn’t the best father to them,” he said, taking a swig out of a liquor bottle, then pouring a little out for Bellemere. “But I think they turned out alright anyway.”    
  
Her laugh echoed through him and on the sea breeze as they finished the bottle together. 


End file.
